Thursday March 6th
by Dhiyanah Hassan
Last month I joined WritersClubKL for their new monthly meet, Draftspace, where I read out what was then an inkling of a poem. The feedback received during this session was extremely helpful — I was pretty close to decapitating the little draft and am very glad I didn’t end up doing that.
The poem is a meditation on leaving and being left behind. It’s an attempt to generalise how I feel about the endings that occur in some human relationships, triggered by geographical or temporal changes (moving around, travelling, years passing). Often we force relationships and friendships to stay, to remain — but sometimes remaining causes stagnation, leading to toxic relationships. Living things can decay in stasis. I don’t think this is something many can easily accept, but it has been an important lesson for me over the years: knowing when to let go or move on, knowing when you cannot adapt to another’s change of heart, and accepting that this is part of the privilege of knowing people (and the hope that others will respect your decision to leave, if you decide to do the leaving).
This piece is made up of two voices — the first is straightforward, aggressive, riddled with anxiety; the second is much softer, a little vague, full of the dreamy stuff like secrets shared between people who had once built worlds together. The segmentation allowed me to end this once-hesitant poem on a more secure note, hopefully inspiring a sense of acceptance.
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